What's Been Going On

Couldn't sleep, so I felt I should at least fill you guys in on what's been going on.

So I've been gone for a few days. I'll do my best to explain.

First, the car ran out of gas and I had no money to pay for it. So I ended up having to ditch it in the middle of the road and run away before a tow truck came and got it. Then I sort of just... kept walking aimlessly.

That's not much of an explanation. I guess I've just been upset over what happened to... them. Can I even call them my family anymore? Is there any way to... Get them back?

I suppose there's no use in hoping so. Apparently, I'll die soon, anyway.

So. After stopping to rest for a while, I eventually got myself to open my laptop and check on the blog. So it turns out the Eye posted a small message before leaving again. It's no longer on my desktop, so I think I can assume it's left the computer for good.

So. Judgement. The Convocation already took Tomas and my mother, so they're out of the question. Perhaps one of my old friends? Even before this whole mess started, I didn't have too many. Tom was always the popular one. I was just... Not, I guess. I never really thought much about it.

Thinking about things, how they used to be, is kind of depressing. Hard to believe it was just two weeks ago that I started a blog and created this never-ending spiral of despair...

So, I've got at least two people reading this now? That's good to know.

I have no reason to keep writing this. Really, I should keep walking, getting them off my trail. I guess it just feels nice to vent and stuff.

You guys don't mind when I talk about my feelings, right? Well, I'll just pretend you don't.

I've gotten really emotional lately. I suppose it's just all the stress, but I find myself crying at unexpected times, and in mad fits of anger, usually right afterwards.

There must be some purpose to this, right? It's not just a bunch of eldritch beings who have fun torturing random human beings? Surely there's more to life than that? Are we all just cosmic playthings for creatures that we cannot even comprehend?

I'm ranting now. I hardly even know what I'm talking about.

Nothing else has been happening, really, just walking around aimlessly, stopping to rest every once in a while. The birds aren't usually far behind. No sign of any Nests so far, though, which I'm highly thankful for. No need for another reminder of what I've lost.

It's kind of creepy, being outside late at night. Knowing about the Fears and stuff makes it even creepier. That's probably contributing to my inability to sleep. That and the uncomfortable-ness of this ground. And the cold.

Some people are surprisingly willing to allow some random kid who hasn't showered in days into their house. Most aren't. I didn't meet any of the former people today.

I hate sleeping outside, because... well, I think that should be obvious. But I also hate sleeping inside, because I have to sleep knowing that Judgement or the ducks could come any minute and I'd be putting some random strangers in danger.

Fears. Why do they exist? And why do they terrorize us so?

These are my questions. Perhaps I may not live to see it, but I hope they are answered someday. And that's all I can hope for, really.

I'm starting to feel kind of tired. Hopefully tired enough to get some sleep. Until then, I'll leave you guys alone. So, um... bye, I guess?

--Branden